music within

I rarely have dreams, pleasant or otherwise; even in my odd dreams I am all alone, as they say; 'like pale yellow mountains, lamb like'. From my childhood, I cherished friends but never could jump the fence. A dichotomy of faith and disbelief, to belong and not adhere; always I was haunted by lack of courage; for monotony and gluttony were key indicators of moving life. Dynamics of stubborn resilience and vulnerability to debugging fear of stand-alone seclusion were realities from the stammering and struting days till date. The golf course was never grazed, but trimmed; life in its delicate as well unsavoury form is a reality which I would never be able to resist. I am not alone, many of us are companions.

Then why should I fancy silence and loneliness!

I have no reasons to offer. May be, you feel solitude and then you are never being alone. It is a paradox that the distance diminishes and joyous self proclamation is in the vicinity of accomplishing when we are alone. But what is that self search, a meditative inclination to humming within, or a detachment Buddha like; I never know .Rarely we attain that; as a life is never enough to unravel a sand- dust, what to speak of the mystery of trees and blue sky and dead stars.

Oh yes, at our times of self probing, we need routine, monotonous and matured isolation, a little dull trepidation. They rather stimulate a growing mind irrespective of intellect and experience or even age. While in solitude the walls that abound us are not to keep the living thoughts and beings away, never do the walls drive away cattle or doting birds. Rather a desire is latent that till the wall is climbed and trespassed or the inevitable demolition I shall nurture my living soul and broken walls add to empathetic substance. My togetherness with the world is as real as my secluded substance.

For a wholesome experience sombre solitude is an ex-pression, a tool rather. Wilting emotions create a rare courage to enfold the being and envelop nothingness. We lean to the walls to commute to the world of sublime merger. We could attain a submerged bliss and perpetuate the belongingness to our collectivised being and existence . What I feel, we need a little nerve , self search and also an existential profaneness, a proclivity to metaphoric existence. Then the joy shall linger to spread. I never break walls, put my ears to the bricks to gather a part of music that you render in your solitude. And while I would be inside I wish others feel my tune and respond.The symphony dispersed could be yours the moment it is delivered.